Image via Wikipedia Grace lives somewhere between denial and dissolution.
In the land of denial tickles the truth our imagination, possibly annoying as a spring, or a fly. But instead of becoming curious and research, we back away from the tickling and blistering by what we do, opposed to the actual experience of truth-usually to "get-things-done."
We usually go up unto the land of denial by the fear of dissolution, but years of denial can indeed lead to a large dissolution event. In rescission, we are so incredibly overpowered by the truth, that we like sugar melt into a puddle of goo, in the place where we were affected by the full power of the truth. In the land of dissolution, there is no "get-things-done" and not only the list, but the structure of our lives can lose meaning. This is scary in a way which will make the list and slaying mode can hold.
Yoga, yoga, year I wend my way between these modern manifestations of Scylla and Charybdis have helped.As an athletic, frontal life-loving, really geeky and somewhat loner kid I learned early on that "grace" was not a quality can be admired in me. I was clumsy. I was the kid with bruises on her Shins from trees climbing and jumping fences.Born with an appetite for everything, and not one to shy away from challenge (think Bull, red flag, and Yes, porcelain comes next), I have a bunch of white-knuckling and wiping away from tickles the first decades of my life. No regrets, either. I have a lot of experiences that are hard to come by and full of the nectar of life.
That life, also led me to many moments of dissolution, some transient, others completely stop stops to the hustle and bustle of life.And via the churning in the passage between the extremes that I created, I was quiet with life and easily with the silence. And in this quiet arose a voice like that of a child will be asked to say grace before the family for dinner: thin and reedy at first, the channel search and finally flows quietly back in silence.
That voice the tickling of the truth was I punched away so constantly before. I learned to laugh at the carelessness of tickling, and that lightness allowed to open space around the experience. By actually have the experience, I never had to solve.On the contrary, the experience itself dissolved in another, and often to realization and natural action.
Grace is the point of presence, pure open, creating space in the now for just "what is."Grace can be cultivated in meditation and on the mat by look, feel, diving in.Once converted, it tends to pop up in the strangest of ways.Sometimes the dawning awareness of how the body feeling, and the space for "the plan" ever so slightly to adapt.Or maybe it's the presence of intuition about when to stop or start, or when speaking or just listen. Grace comes in silence and doing that is not to do, but actively unveils the truth more eloquently than struggling and bend to our will.
I've always wanted to "all" and never accepted that this was impossible, or even that difficult I just had a different understanding of what was included in "all."Grace is just the opening at all in the moment. Grace is the Union of the opposites in which we try to split of our experience. it has a lot of swimming in the churning pool between "balls-to-the-wall" and "pee-on-the-floor" to find my way to flow: to find that "everything" is not something I do, not just a meeting of juicy experiences, because all the experiences in the world are meaningless, but for the space to drink them in. and that everything I ever wanted is here, now, for the price of a breath and a grateful and maybe just silent.
Tags: grace, intuition, meditation, philosophy, practices, religion and spirituality, yoga
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